and trust in the marriage relationship are fundamental to a
successful marriage as indicated in the Traditional Wedding
Vows Cleaving Only.
is to build, maintain, and rebuild that trust as expressed in
the Traditional Wedding Vows Cleaving Only.
Trust Issues In
There's a name for someone who
trusts people immediately...fool.
grows gradually, over time, as each person risks a little more
and doesn't get burned. This is why the only relationships
where anyone can fully rest in trust are long term ones, like
growth of trust is also why, once the trust is broken, it's
even more difficult to recover. You can work through these
trust issues and come out the other end with a stronger
relationship. It begins by living the basic Traditional Wedding
Vows Cleaving Only.
refers to a stubborn commitment to hold on tight even in the
midst of a storm. When you make Traditional Wedding Vows
Cleaving Only, you commit yourself to holding on, staying with,
working through, and abiding with your partner in good times
and bad times. It also implies no distractions, deviations, or
departures. Cleaving implies faithfulness.
Slowly. But it grows faster when you share a commitment to
faithfulness and Traditional Wedding Vows Cleaving
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As It Was Intended!
I have been
married for over 40 years now. We have been through ups and
downs together. I have learned to trust my wife, and I believe
she has learned to do so as well.
At first, we
trusted each other because we committed ourselves to trusting.
We never talked about interests in others. We avoided showing
special interest in others that might cause jealousy. One time
when my wife was jealous of a certain woman that I had been
doing duets with at church, my wife mentioned her concern. I
never did another duet with the other woman again. We avoided
even the appearance or hint of unfaithfulness.
Today, we are
a bit more relaxed with each other. We do not go looking for
things to be jealous over, and we do not allow potential
intrusions into our relationship. This is intentional. We're
finally free to be ourselves.
years, we have had some tensions. I sometimes said the wrong
thing, was insensitive, forgot myself. Once I realized the
problem I would spend a few days walking on eggshells, unsure
what to say or do. I did not want to hurt my wife in any
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one time when we had argued and I decided to stick to my guns.
I decided I would not speak to her until she changed.
Fortunately, I just couldn't keep it up. I appologized and we
got on with our lives. I have to frequently refresh my
commitment to those Traditional wedding vows cleaving
I now know a
lot of this had to do with trust. We didn't trust the each
other's words and actions and we didn't trust each other with
our thoughts and feelings. I now know this is normal. I know my
wife would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. She
knows the reverse is also true. Together we must be committed
to those Traditional wedding vows cleaving only.
are between two completely different people trying to find
common ground. The fact that any relationships last is an
absolute miracle of unselfishness, patience, and
Trust is only
gained when one person risks and doesn't get harmed. It grows
as both people increasingly risk and don't get harmed in the
when someone violates trust?
violates a trust and harms the other in the process, trust
doesn't just shrink back to the previous level...it can go
violates their wedding vows once, even after years of faithful
marriage, the marriage is usually over.
violation puts every trust issue in your whole relationship in
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relationships together. Strengthen families.
Overcome marital crisis.
If you are the
injured party, recovery only comes if you're willing to risk
again, and gradually let your partner try to earn your trust
back. That is hard enough, but it's rarely that
By the time
two people are ready to try to recover, there have been several
trust violations and retaliations.
cases, we each need to consciously review the relationship and
see if the benefits outweigh the betrayals, before we can begin
risking again. Rekindle your commitments to those Traditional
wedding vows cleaving only.
when trust issues are caused by outsiders?
marriage has been broken up by false accusations. The other
woman syndrome capitalizes on mistrust issues to destroy
someone elses marriage so the can get the husband...it works
occures, it can be devastating for everyone.
violates those Traditional wedding vows cleaving
In the case of
a marriage, even family can be outsiders. We were blessed to
have two sets of parents who let us make our own decisions and
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think they know best how the relationships of their kids should
be, and that never works. All it does is create more trust
reason the traditional wedding vow says to leave your family
and cleave to your spouse. If you continue to cleave to your
family, you'll eventually leave your spouse.
If you have
parents who constantly undermine or criticize your spouse, tell
them to stop it. If they won't stop, sever all ties with
That is making
a stand to say I love my spouse enough not to allow anyone to
get between us. That will build trust!
outsiders pose a threat to your marriage, eliminate the
outsider. Get them out of the picture entirely. Remember those
Traditional wedding vows cleaving only.
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Sometime mistrust can be
someone takes their parent's side or listens to gossip about
What if there
is absolutely no evidence that your spouse has violated your
trust, but you suspect and accuse them, anyway?
They are with
you every minute; they are not at work. Still, you have this
suspicion you're being cheated on. Where are those Traditional
wedding vows cleaving only?
Jealousy is a
green-eyed monster. Most of the time, jealousy is an anxiety
resulting from a low self-esteem.
You feel you
don't deserve your partner, so you just know they're trying to
trade you in. Most people just get over the milder forms of
this anxiety as their trust in their spouse grows. Some,
though, have such a severe anxiety that their distrust actually
pushes their spouse away...eventually into the arms of another.
A self-fulfilling prophecy! I've known two people who did this,
leaving one person as the single parent of a couple
are hardest to overcome when they are the irrational result of
anxiety. There's no way to earn the trust of this
person...they've rendered themselves incapable of
trust grows...a person risks something small and if they don't
get burned, is willing to risk more?
If you have a
trust anxiety, you're unwilling to risk, therefore unable to
grow trust. If you suspect you or a loved one has irrational
trust issues, it's a good idea to see a mental health
professional to get a proper diagnosis and help. There are many
medicines and treatments available that can help with
anxieties. It is essential they you rekindle the essence of the
Traditional wedding vows cleaving only to one
Well, it isn't
slowly and, if broken, heals even more slowly.
relationship trust issues are complex and painful to deal with.
With patience, love and forgiveness, though, it's usually
possible to overcome distrust and grow a healthy, long-tern
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the day you can finally rest in each other's trust, fully able
to be yourselves, knowing you're just the person the other one
wants to be with.
wedding vows cleaving only to your partner are a great place to
begin. When you speak, memorize, learn, dedicate yourself to
these traditional wedding vows cleaving only; you make a
commitment to build trust in your relationship.
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