Traditional Wedding Vows Cleaving Only

Faithfulness and trust in the marriage relationship are fundamental to a successful marriage as indicated in the Traditional Wedding Vows Cleaving Only. 

The challenge is to build, maintain, and rebuild that trust as expressed in the Traditional Wedding Vows Cleaving Only.

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Trust Issues In Relationships.

There's a name for someone who trusts people immediately...fool.

Real trust grows gradually, over time, as each person risks a little more and doesn't get burned. This is why the only relationships where anyone can fully rest in trust are long term ones, like marriage.

The slow growth of trust is also why, once the trust is broken, it's even more difficult to recover. You can work through these trust issues and come out the other end with a stronger relationship. It begins by living the basic Traditional Wedding Vows Cleaving Only.

Cleaving refers to a stubborn commitment to hold on tight even in the midst of a storm. When you make Traditional Wedding Vows Cleaving Only, you commit yourself to holding on, staying with, working through, and abiding with your partner in good times and bad times. It also implies no distractions, deviations, or departures. Cleaving implies faithfulness.

Trust Grows Slowly. But it grows faster when you share a commitment to faithfulness and Traditional Wedding Vows Cleaving Only.

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I have been married for over 40 years now. We have been through ups and downs together. I have learned to trust my wife, and I believe she has learned to do so as well.

At first, we trusted each other because we committed ourselves to trusting. We never talked about interests in others. We avoided showing special interest in others that might cause jealousy. One time when my wife was jealous of a certain woman that I had been doing duets with at church, my wife mentioned her concern. I never did another duet with the other woman again. We avoided even the appearance or hint of unfaithfulness.

Today, we are a bit more relaxed with each other. We do not go looking for things to be jealous over, and we do not allow potential intrusions into our relationship. This is intentional. We're finally free to be ourselves.

Over the years, we have had some tensions. I sometimes said the wrong thing, was insensitive, forgot myself. Once I realized the problem I would spend a few days walking on eggshells, unsure what to say or do. I did not want to hurt my wife in any way.

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I remember, one time when we had argued and I decided to stick to my guns. I decided I would not speak to her until she changed. Fortunately, I just couldn't keep it up. I appologized and we got on with our lives. I have to frequently refresh my commitment to those Traditional wedding vows cleaving only.

I now know a lot of this had to do with trust. We didn't trust the each other's words and actions and we didn't trust each other with our thoughts and feelings. I now know this is normal. I know my wife would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. She knows the reverse is also true. Together we must be committed to those Traditional wedding vows cleaving only.

Relationships are between two completely different people trying to find common ground. The fact that any relationships last is an absolute miracle of unselfishness, patience, and trust.

Trust is only gained when one person risks and doesn't get harmed. It grows as both people increasingly risk and don't get harmed in the process.

What happens when someone violates trust?

When someone violates a trust and harms the other in the process, trust doesn't just shrink back to the previous level...it can go away, entirely.

If someone violates their wedding vows once, even after years of faithful marriage, the marriage is usually over.

Just one violation puts every trust issue in your whole relationship in doubt.

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If you are the injured party, recovery only comes if you're willing to risk again, and gradually let your partner try to earn your trust back. That is hard enough, but it's rarely that simple.

By the time two people are ready to try to recover, there have been several trust violations and retaliations.

In these cases, we each need to consciously review the relationship and see if the benefits outweigh the betrayals, before we can begin risking again. Rekindle your commitments to those Traditional wedding vows cleaving only.

What happens when trust issues are caused by outsiders?

Many a marriage has been broken up by false accusations. The other woman syndrome capitalizes on mistrust issues to destroy someone elses marriage so the can get the husband...it works sometimes.

When seduction occures, it can be devastating for everyone.

Infidelity violates those Traditional wedding vows cleaving only.

In the case of a marriage, even family can be outsiders. We were blessed to have two sets of parents who let us make our own decisions and mistakes.

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Many In-laws think they know best how the relationships of their kids should be, and that never works. All it does is create more trust issues.

There's a reason the traditional wedding vow says to leave your family and cleave to your spouse. If you continue to cleave to your family, you'll eventually leave your spouse.

If you have parents who constantly undermine or criticize your spouse, tell them to stop it. If they won't stop, sever all ties with them!

That is making a stand to say I love my spouse enough not to allow anyone to get between us. That will build trust!

Whenever outsiders pose a threat to your marriage, eliminate the outsider. Get them out of the picture entirely. Remember those Traditional wedding vows cleaving only.

 
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Sometime mistrust can be irrational.

What if someone takes their parent's side or listens to gossip about their spouse?

What if there is absolutely no evidence that your spouse has violated your trust, but you suspect and accuse them, anyway?

They are with you every minute; they are not at work. Still, you have this suspicion you're being cheated on. Where are those Traditional wedding vows cleaving only?

Jealousy is a green-eyed monster. Most of the time, jealousy is an anxiety resulting from a low self-esteem.

You feel you don't deserve your partner, so you just know they're trying to trade you in. Most people just get over the milder forms of this anxiety as their trust in their spouse grows. Some, though, have such a severe anxiety that their distrust actually pushes their spouse away...eventually into the arms of another. A self-fulfilling prophecy! I've known two people who did this, leaving one person as the single parent of a couple children.

Trust issues are hardest to overcome when they are the irrational result of anxiety. There's no way to earn the trust of this person...they've rendered themselves incapable of trusting.

Remember how trust grows...a person risks something small and if they don't get burned, is willing to risk more?

If you have a trust anxiety, you're unwilling to risk, therefore unable to grow trust. If you suspect you or a loved one has irrational trust issues, it's a good idea to see a mental health professional to get a proper diagnosis and help. There are many medicines and treatments available that can help with anxieties. It is essential they you rekindle the essence of the Traditional wedding vows cleaving only to one another.

Well, it isn't easy!

Trust grows slowly and, if broken, heals even more slowly.

All relationship trust issues are complex and painful to deal with. With patience, love and forgiveness, though, it's usually possible to overcome distrust and grow a healthy, long-tern relationship.

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Just imagine the day you can finally rest in each other's trust, fully able to be yourselves, knowing you're just the person the other one wants to be with.

Traditional wedding vows cleaving only to your partner are a great place to begin. When you speak, memorize, learn, dedicate yourself to these traditional wedding vows cleaving only; you make a commitment to build trust in your relationship.

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